


The Auctioneer

by posingasme



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bachelor Auction, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2019-03-14 21:36:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13598871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/posingasme/pseuds/posingasme
Summary: It’s just a bit of harmless fun. It’s for charity, after all...





	The Auctioneer

“This is disgusting. It's degrading. It's ridiculous. And I'm not going to be a part of it.”

The fingers at his throat tightened unnecessarily as they worked on his tie. “You can't back out now, Sam,” the pretty English accent was saying.

“I absolutely can. I was told this was a charity dinner. I was told I would be doing an intro for some big name, then my job was done.”

Bela glared up at him. “Look. I'm a man short, and you're in. Congratulations. The hospital thanks you for your enthusiastic participation.”

“This is too much, Bela. I didn't know shows like this even still-”

“Well, they do, and they bring in a ton of cash, and if you'd like to see the tech and infrastructure in the pediatric ward moved into the current century, you'll stop complaining, and participate in a little harmless fun.”

Sam grabbed her wrist, and pushed her away. “I can tie my own damn bow tie.”

The fundraiser smiled triumphantly. “You look delicious, Dr. Winchester. Might make a little bid myself.”

“You do, and I'll have my transfer to St. Joe’s complete by the time the event is over.”

“Oh, Sam. Don't be a poor sport. The donors like to bid on the boys who smile.” She winked at him, and stepped out of the small room.

Sam sighed. Of all the things he had expected to be doing tonight, getting himself auctioned off for the good of the pediatrics ward was not even on the list. Making awkward conversation with retired physicians and administrators was the most anxiety-inducing thing he could think of before being ambushed by Bela the Bitch Talbot.

He didn't like gatherings like this in general, but he knew how important they were. So when he had been asked to give the introduction for the guest speaker, he had graciously accepted the responsibility. He had been promised notes to speak from, so he hadn't even had to write anything ahead of time.

There was no guest speaker. This was an auction. A bachelors auction. This...this was humiliating.

Sam was looking at himself in the mirror, wondering what sort of person bid in games like this, and who would bother bidding on him, when the door opened up. He sighed. “Garth, please tell me you're not-”

Dr. Fitzgerald grinned at him. “This is so much fun, dude! I've got a few cougars eyeing me up already! And just wait till they find out I'm a two-for-one.”

Sam made a face. “If you mean Mr. Fizzles, I might throw up.”

The sock puppet appeared from nowhere to stare at him judgmentally. “Chicks love the Fizz.”

“You must be a truly incredible pediatric dentist,” Sam muttered in wonder. “Otherwise, I don't think they'd let you anywhere near children.”

Garth raised an eyebrow. “Don't hate.” Mr. Fizzles added, “And we’re oral surgeons, bro.”

Walking out of the room was a mistake. He cringed at the scene before him. “Kevin? You too?”

Dr. Tran exchanged a wave with Garth, and smirked at Sam. “It's for the kids, Sam.”

“Oh, lighten up, Doc.”

Sam turned to find Victor Henricksen in a full tuxedo. He stared. “Lieutenant Henricksen? You're...Is that you? Why?”

The man shrugged. “Why? Why not? I always support the hospital. They were real good to me when I got burned years back. Except the mouthy surgeon they gave me. But I hear he's a good guy deep down. Must be real, real deep, because he's kind of an asshole on the surface.”

A glare was his response. “You're alive because my brother saved your ass.”

“And as I said, I do my part and give back. That, and it pisses off my ex-wives.”

Sam rolled his eyes irritably. “I cannot believe we all got talked into this. It's degrading.”

“Women have been put on display since we came down from the trees,” a voice sang out from behind a curtain. “You'll live.”

“God, Baum too?”

“Dorothy is the one who makes sure the money changes hands after the bidding is all over,” Kevin explained.

That made sense. Dorothy was scary.

“How did you not know about this?” Garth demanded. “We all knew about this!”

Kevin tossed a bite from the veggie and cheese tray into his mouth. “Bela said don't tell the Winchesters or they won't show up.”

Sam glowered at him darkly. “Traitor.”

Kevin shrugged and went back to sifting through the tray.

“Wait. So my brother doesn't know either-”

The back door slammed open, and the elder Dr. Winchester stormed out. “What the hell is this? You have lost your mind!”

“Dean!”

He whirled back to glare down at Bela in a frightening fury. “You. You did this.”

She smirked. “You know, when this is all over, we should really have angry sex.”

This threw Dean off-balance, and he shifted his weight, and finally crossed his arms protectively in front of his tuxedoed chest. “Don’t-don’t objectify me.”

“What do we even-What are we expected-I mean, if someone actually bids on…”

A dark man in a long coat appeared out of nowhere to respond in a sneer. “If someone actually bids on you? Oh, Moose. You’ve got a swarm of elderly WASPs hovering over your profile photo as we speak. I even heard one ask if she could make you and Tran Man a package set.”

Sam swallowed hard. “You’re making that up.”

Mr. Crowley winked. “If only I were. The rest of us will find it difficult to sleep with that image rolling relentlessly in our heads. I can only assume she’s into piggybacks, or she’s got some very high and very low shelves she needs reached.”

He sighed. “Which...brings me back to my question,” he mumbled.

Bela waved him away. “Relax, Doctor. This isn’t prostitution. Your profile states that you are willing to attend a musical theater production followed by wine and desserts.”

Sam looked at Dean as if to request an assist. “But I don’t drink wine,” he said weakly.

The look Bela gave him made it clear exactly how finished she was with him. “Then order a Shirley Temple, Doctor. I don’t honestly care. If you weren’t such a prude, you might have written your own profile.”

“I think this is illegal,” Dean growled under his breath.

Bela sighed and approached to straighten his tie just as she had done to Sam. “The auction is perfectly legal. Forcing you into it is not. If you’d like to press charges, keep in mind that Mr. Crowley is the attorney for the hospital.”

Dean scowled.

Sam took a deep breath. He listened to the rest of the instructions, but his stomach was knotting. Clearly, this was all meant to be harmless fun, and for the best of causes. So of course he would do it, and so would Dean. They would exact revenge on Bela some other night. But his stomach was fixated on two things. Two thoughts slammed into one another in his mind, and he felt like he was a high school freshman again.

What if no one bid on him?

What if someone did?

***

Charlie sighed. “And you can't do this yourself, why?”

Her best friend was already red in the face. But he looked directly in her eyes, daring her to betray their bond. “Celeste?”

“He’s breaking out the first name,” Dorothy smirked.

Charlie rolled her eyes.

Castiel continued with an air of urgent, deathly seriousness. “I have never asked you for anything. I have never asked for a favor.”

“I’m just saying, it’s going to be suspicious when the lesbian chick bids on the closeted surgical oncologist dude.”

“Allegedly,” Dorothy corrected.

“The allegedly closeted surgical-“ Charlie turned to her girlfriend. “Really? Allegedly?”

She shrugged. “Part of being closeted is that it isn’t confirmed.”

Charlie looked back at Castiel with exasperation. “Fine. But you don’t think me bidding on him will blow his cover?”

“That’s why you have to bid on him!” Castiel cried out. “What if another woman does?”

“And what if another woman does?” Charlie demanded. “You’re a nurse, Cas! I’m a tech! We can’t possibly expect to be able to outbid all these-Look at them! That woman’s necklace costs more than my car!”

Dorothy nodded. “More than Castiel’s whole salary,” she guessed.

He closed his eyes in defeat. “Right,” he sighed. “You’re right. This was a bad idea. What’s the big deal, anyway? So he goes out with a woman for a night, and…”

Charlie put her arm around his waist. “Hey, kiddo. This isn’t about saving Dr. Winchester from an awkward night. You know he’s going to be fine. This is about you wanting an awkward night with him yourself.”

“Because let’s be honest,” Dorothy added. “It would be awkward no matter what. Because it’s you.”

He didn’t even have the energy to glower at her. “Let’s just forget it. You’re right. I can’t outbid anyone here, and that’s the only way I would ever be able to get Dr. Winchester’s attention. What’s wrong with me anyway? I’m so messed up that I’m trying to pay for a few hours with a guy who doesn’t know I exist.”

Charlie’s smile was sad and sympathetic. “Everyone knows you, Cas. You’re the angel on the surgical wing. Everyone likes you.”

“The head nurse still calls me Clarence.”

“That’s because she’s a bitch,” Dorothy responded, as she tipped back her glass of Chardonnay. “I told you to transfer to my ward.”

“I’m not joining the Reapers,” Castiel snapped wearily. “I don’t want to work hospice. You and Tessa are saints. I’m not cut out for that.”

Dorothy shrugged again, and kissed Charlie on the cheek. “Come on, angel. Show’s starting.”

Charlie squeezed Castiel’s hand. “Hey. It’ll be okay. Just have fun. This isn’t meant to be a dating service. It’s just-“

“Harmless fun. I know. If Talbot says that phrase again, I’m going to feed her to the Reapers.”

“Break a leg, angel.”

Castiel took a deep breath, and made his way to the front of the room where Bela was waiting for him. “Okay. Let’s do it.”

Her toothy grin reminded him of a cat. Except that he liked cats, and he didn’t like Bela. “Yes, let’s,” she purred. She waved to the quartet to stop playing, and waited for the music to fade out. Her microphone carried her distinctive voice and accent over the crowd. “Hello, dears!” she cooed. “Thank you again for being here! As I stated in my introduction earlier, we have so many exciting projects, innovations and research taking place at Memorial right now, and advancements in the way we diagnose, treat and heal our little ones is the highest priority. There is no doubt in my mind that everyone here is entirely dedicated to the fruition of our vision. There is nothing more dear to our hearts than the health and safety of our precious children.”

Castiel cleared his throat and took the microphone. “Our most sincere thanks to everyone who has made tonight a success already. Our goals are projected on that far screen, and our tech guru Ms. Bradbury will be updating it live as the night goes on.”

Bela took over. “Let’s begin with our main event for the night! Cas Caduto is a nurse in our surgical wing.”

“And Bela Talbot is our development director,” he added.

“Welcome to the Bachelors of Science Auction!”

Horrible name. It was horrible. But the crowd laughed on cue, and Castiel pretended to laugh with them. It was going to be a very long night.

He waited as Bela explained the rules of the event, and then hurried to begin.

“The first bachelor of the evening is an accomplished martial artist, a trivia night champion, and, until he reaches his childhood dream and becomes the first Asian American president, he graces us as a doctor of pathology in our innovative laboratory here at Memorial. Beginning bid for a night spent at a cello concert at the Prophet Center with handsome Dr. Kevin Tran is a mere two hundred fifty dollars.”

Castiel’s job was to take bids. He looked for the hand movements of the ladies in the crowd, and let Bela encourage them higher, until it seemed to have reached its peak, and he let the gavel fall. It turned out that quite a few patrons in the room were fans of cello music.

It was obvious from Bela’s smirk that she was pleased with the level of participation. She introduced each of the bachelors, and let each one wander onto the raised floor so the patrons could see what they were bidding on in the flesh. Castiel became so engaged in the bidding, he lost track of who was on the docket next.

But then, there he was.

Sam Winchester looked so incredibly uncomfortable in front of the delighted, tipsy crowd of donors that Castiel’s heart ached for him. He felt the same yearning to protect and comfort and heal which had called him to the nursing profession in the first place. Especially when Sam tried to smile and failed so abominably.

Castiel had known exactly how awkward Sam would feel about this whole thing. He wouldn’t have been surprised to find out that he had been coerced or tricked into participating. It wasn’t beneath Bela; that was certain.

He tried to concentrate, but he found himself responding to bids stonily, coldly glaring at those who waved at him. This was ridiculous. Sam’s bid was higher than any before him, except for his brother, who had been the one glowering moodily, not at the patrons, but at Bela, who described his expression as “smoldering blue steel,” which didn’t make any sense to Castiel since he was sure this Winchester had green eyes, and…

And the bidding was getting heated. Castiel began to frown. There was a wild-eyed woman in the front row, who was looking at Sam as though he were edible, a wealthy young snob who was used to getting whatever she wanted. Castiel winced as she went so far as to lick her palm and then blow it like a kiss toward Sam, who looked like he was ill. Then there was a blond woman, perhaps sixty-five or older, who had won the elder Winchester just minutes ago, and who apparently was determined to make it a brother act.

As the bids elevated even beyond the bid Dean had brought, Castiel could see everyone staring from one woman to the other like a tennis match. He heard his own voice calling out the bids, his chest tightening with every increase.

Bela’s voice was practically lustful. “It seems we have saved the best for last tonight! This is the last man standing, ladies. Don’t let him get away!” she sang over the numbers Castiel choked out.

At last, the younger woman gave a great sigh of frustration and shook her head at the auctioneer, folding her arms across her chest to pout. The older woman smiled triumphantly.

Castiel could hear Bela addressing the crowd, inviting them all to continue to enjoy the music and wine, and of course to write checks to the foundation. But noise all around him dimmed as he watched Sam’s stunned gray face turn toward his brother, who was muttering to him.

“Cas!”

He whirled to find Charlie yanking on his sleeve. “What?”

“I said, come on! Hurry!”

As always, Castiel let Charlie lead him wherever she thought he should go. It was just as well. After watching a shy, sweet, handsome and brilliant man, whom he was stupidly in love with, auctioned like a horse, he had no idea what he was supposed to do now.

Charlie was leading him to the lobby of the hotel where the foundation had rented space for the evening. He was breathless by the time they arrived at their destination, and more so when he saw who they were hurrying toward.

Standing beside Dorothy Baum was the woman who had won two Winchesters, at a sum that didn’t even seem real to Castiel. She was smiling at him, so he tried his best to smile back.

“You’re Castile?”

He cleared his throat. “Yes, ma’am. Castiel. Yes. We-we appreciate everything you’re doing to-to support the children’s ward, and…” Along with breath, it seemed he had run out of words.

Her smile was kinder and gentler than he had expected it to be. “I’m Mildred Baker. And over there, chatting with the older gentleman with the beard, that’s my granddaughter Eileen.”

Castiel nodded numbly.

“She’s nineteen now, and something of an alumna of that children’s ward.”

His eyes softened as he realized what she was saying. “Oh. I’m sorry for your trouble, Ms. Baker. I hope we were able to help when you needed us.”

She took his hand. “Yes. We lost her mother and father, but we have Eileen, and I could never be more grateful, which is why we volunteer and donate whenever we can.”

“Thank you for that. We promise to put every bit of our resources toward helping other children like Eileen.”

“I know you will. You’re a good man, aren’t you, Castiel?”

The nurse frowned slightly, and tipped his head. “I...hope so. I try to be.”

Mildred laughed. “I knew it. Eileen is deaf, and she’s quite adept at lip reading. She watched a conversation you were having with your friends here before the auction began.”

Confusion washed over him. He looked from Charlie to Dorothy and then back. “I’m not sure what…”

Mildred patted his hand. “You were lamenting your chances of being able to outbid the rest of us for a particular friend of yours.”

Heat flushed his face suddenly, and he began to feel lightheaded. “I-I didn’t mean-I was just-“

“Eileen says you were worried this man would be uncomfortable on a date with a woman. And that you wanted to spare him that anxiety. And that you wish you had the chance to go out with him yourself.”

Castiel’s mouth was entirely dry. He stared in fright at this woman.

Dorothy took a step in. “Cas, she outbid Rebecca Rosen,” she hissed.

He didn’t know who that was, but he guessed from Dorothy’s expression that he should. He blinked at Mildred helplessly.

“I thought at first,” Mildred continued, “you meant the one with the excellent ass.”

Charlie was snickering behind him.

“But when I bid for Dean, you didn’t seem concerned. It wasn’t until Sam arrived that you got so pale.”

He found his voice at last. “I’m sorry, Ms. Baker. What-what exactly are we talking about?”

The older woman laughed. “Well, I reserved the surgeon’s evening for you, of course!”

That was the moment Castiel’s world went sideways.

***

“So here with us tonight is the one who truly brought us all together, my date for the evening, the lovely Mildred Baker.”

The party cheered in delight as the older woman stood and waved. She looked lovely in her light yellow dress and pink rose in her hair. Eileen, beside her, was in green, and wore a matching flower. Her grandmother sat again and continued signing for her.

Dean gave them a grin. “Ms. Baker, on behalf of everyone here, and especially for my new brother-in-law, I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for buying a date with my brother a year ago.”

The laughter was only compounded by Castiel signing his gratitude to the ladies, and Dean taking his seat between them.

Sam smiled happily at his new husband. Beneath all the chatter which followed the best man’s speech, he spoke so that only Castiel would hear. “I told you both Charlie and Dean would talk about it in their speeches.”

“Of course they did. It’s a good story.”

“Thank you for wanting to save me that night.”

His husband’s eyes were shining. “Thank you for not wanting to be bought by Becky Rosen.”

Sam cringed. “Not enough wine in the world.”

“Especially since you don’t drink wine.”

“I love you, angel.”

Castiel’s happiness was nearly tangible. It beamed from him in a warm wave. “I love you, Doctor.”


End file.
